[insert your life here]

I post more frequently in another place: xanga


please go there, especially if your name is LORNA!

comment spammers make eating blogger like a bitter.sour.yuck taste in my mouth.
not cool.

whoa!
welcome to September.
life in full swing.
last semester at trinity.
seeking.
read 6-7 books this summer.
oh, life goes on.

Packing begins again! But this April I am not moving anything further than two miles up Glover to an old brown house with as many quirks as my church's building in Snohomish. I have little desire/motivation to pack.. but plenty to move to the next chapter of life.

Mars' Hill finished off strong. Some of our toughest critics congratulated us at the end and I feel ok about all of it. Many things were wonderful: the writing, the friendships, the memories. Then there are always the things you want to improve... but those aren't important. To finish off my reign as visual editor I get to design a T-shirt... probably the hardest thing I have done all year: it's not as temporary as newsprint and it has look smashing on a diverse group of people.

And... my dearest Erin is getting married in 12 days! goodness, I am really excited but really freaked out about the toast I get to give... what to do!?

Oh my goodness.

Today I developed three rolls of film from various events this semester. From San Francisco to White Rock: there were at least 5 pictures I looked at once and said, "Oh my goodness, I want to make you a really large photograph." James let me borrow his Pentax SLR for a few months (isn't he so generous?) he had a super sweet lens on it with a really wide aperature that made for a few intense shots that I think I will dream about tonight.

I know, I know. I will make them digital and available as soon as possible.

Oh, in other news: I am living in Langley this summer, working in Blaine. I will come home to visit though, and when I do, oh.. we need to go to shows (so says the rempt version of james) and WoW bubble tea.

Austin, tell Karen I miss her very much rich now. It's been too long since the last lockett encounter.

and all of you for that matter!

goodness. the hat sings on.

la.

Friends, I am currently working on my term paper (12 pages) for my Christianity and Culture class. I am hitting up the creative non-fiction side of things, pseudo similar to Anne Lamott's "Traveling Mercies." (Have any of you read it? if not, you should: it's good!). I am thinking about writing about those positive moments when my different notions of the kingdom of God have been challenged.. more so along the lines of arguing (through story) for an openness in the Church to the work of God. umm... I don't know how you all can help me.. I think I am just looking for some feedback to help the creative juices flow a bit more. Articulate the vibe you feel after reading all of this. Thanks!


Moments in time i would like to pull out:

1. Stopping to seek beauty
a. favoring found objects
b. seeking Jesus in everyday and Oswald

These moments when my faith/perception has changed. Not the times I have
been wronged, but the times of growth. Not a bitter reflection of some
exclusive ticket to heaven but the moments when I've realized the ticket
admits all.

2. And maybe grace is greater than I've ever imagined.
a. Liuda's redemption (in my mind) (Sacred Romance and our first talk on iconography) (feeling like I lost the chance of a life time with my imposed stereotype)
b. I believe my Catholic Aunt is in Heaven
c. The moment I fell in love with gaudy churches (Moscow)

3. Love, love, love, hate!
a. the tendency in history to preach love and freedom but then to take it from others.
1) Esther
2) Iraqi "Freedom" (we will now inflitrate your land with terror everyday for more than three years.
3) Other moment in Church history (Baltic?)

Maybe this is a paper to bring Lithuania to close? Why has it been so close to
my heart this semester especially? All the lessons I learned of reflection,
grace, acceptance, love for those I thought unlovealbe.. FOUND by Rosetti... it can all come together in this melding of cultures/thoughts/moments.

4. Notes along the way.
a. Excerpts from Sontag paper?
b. photography that shows it?
c. but what am I trying to show?

ummm.. help?

I am having difficulty bringing “the Kingdom of God” into terms in which I can tell you how I have encountered or experienced it. Ultimately, I think, this is a problem of definition very much in line with what Walker Percy engages in his book Lost in the Cosmos: The Last Self-help Book. My thoughts are walking down paths too narrow and too dark. I am trying to define things that I hardly understand: myself, the Kingdom, and myself in the Kingdom.

Though I try again and again to define who I am – immanently or transcendently or simply as myself – I can’t. I’ll either buy into a dangerously strict framework that seemingly includes everything I am (when it actually excludes most of who I am) or I’ll get frustrated with the process and give in to the constant questioning and assume myself as nothing for lack of solid answers. Introducing the self-help section of my local bookstore. Any one of these books can tell me “who I am” and that may vary depending on which one I pick up. Today I would like to (a) find my purpose in 40 days (b) be highly effective in work/play/sex/hobby (c) get in touch with my inner Buddha.

Percy takes on this idea that self-help books can define you by writing The Last Self-help Book. By writing it in the form of a self-help book, Percy effectively illustrates the preposterousness of a man attempting to define himself. He says humans are sign-users but that we have no sign for ourselves: “You are not a sign in your world. Unlike the other signifiers in your world which form more of less stable units with the perceived world-things they signify, the signifier of yourself is mobile, freed up, and operating on a sliding semiotic scale…,” (Percy, 107). Percy is telling me I can’t define myself. In a world that tells me I need to figure out who I am, I am completely conflicted.

Now I will attempt to define the Kingdom of God.





And now I will give up!

Here is what I might have written 5 years ago: “The Kingdom of God, as I understood in my younger youth, is Heaven. Then one day I heard the Kingdom of God is here and now. I left the classroom, looked at the world around me, and said, ‘There is no way this place is the Kingdom of God!’ The Kingdom of God is perfect, right? It’s joyous communion with God where there is no suffering. It’s perfect, it’s joyous, and it’s obviously moral.” I think I just excluded myself from the Kingdom. (And you, and my sister, and my aunt who died from cancer.)

What I have just described is not the Kingdom of God. Once again I have started walking down those paths that are too narrow and too dark. Walker Percy might slap my wrist and ask me if I have sought help for my problem. Just as I can’t define myself, I can’t define the Kingdom. A failure of Christianity is that we have tried.

We have tried to define the Kingdom by instituting a huge moral framework that says when a person is in and out of the super-cool Christian-moral kingdom. In doing so we have raised ourselves above the others. We have proclaimed our own righteousness and denounced all of those outside the kingdom walls. Once again, this is not the Kingdom of God. The moral framework is similar to a self-help book. They tell us who we should be and why. In the end I am still lost because no set of definitions can tell me who I am or what the Kingdom of God is.


Question: The Kingdom of God is here and now?
(a) Yes, the Kingdom of God is here and now. Just look at the Church!
(b) No, experiencing the Kingdom of God on earth is an unrealistic expectation. No human being is even capable of such… kingdomness.
(c) Maybe?

Thought Experiment: Imagine that you are a widow that just returned on a spaceship to earth. You began your voyage with one other person: your husband. Along the way you had two sons. One you named Mahlon, and the other, Kilion. As you careened about the galaxy your family discovered extraterrestrials living in a small community on a planet called PC7. You raised your sons there and one day they fell in love with two spacegirls. Mahlon and Kilion were married on PC7 and all six of you lived happily together in a small adobe.

Then one-day tragedy struck. Creatures from another galaxy invaded the seemingly perfectly peaceful adobe community on PC7. Your husband and two sons were killed. Devastated, you and your two spacedaughters-in-law decide to return to earth to call upon the help of a distant relation. You don’t ask directly, but your distant relative graciously and abundantly responds.
Is this life as you know it?
Is this the Kingdom of God?
Is this the story of Ruth?

The story of Naomi and Ruth offers a small glimpse into the Kingdom of God. Boaz recognizes that these women are in need and graciously extends a hand to help them. There is no morality involved with this kingdom but there is bountiful love and the sharing of a common grace.

If this story is a small sample of the Kingdom of God, maybe then I have encountered it before: The rain wasn’t so much falling as it was blanketing that night as James and I walked around the campus Discussions of dissonance had made us weary after the first lap. We sought pause on the steps leading down to the pond. The conversation had much to do with failures in communication, feeling distant, wondering when it was time to end the relationship. I felt lost. I sat next to him but felt 10 steps down. His head was hanging between his legs because he says he can’t look at me when we’re having talks like that (something about wanting to kiss me whenever he looks at me). We had said everything we could say, sitting in silence. Then in moment I looked back from the pond and met his eyes. Everything we hadn’t said was spoken in that moment. A mutual love was reestablished within us. And I will never forget that moment I looked deep into his eyes and he looked deep into mine.

Percy asks, “Why is it that the look of another person looking at you is different from everything else in the Cosmos?” (Percy, 8). I think it is because when another person looks at you, they can see things in you that you will never be able to define. When I looked at James I knew that he loved me and didn’t want to end our relationship. When Boaz looked at Ruth lying at his feet he knew she would be faithful. There was no morality involved but, instead, an abundance of love.

Attempting to define myself, the Kingdom of God, or myself in the Kingdom of God tends to lead me down paths that are too narrow and dark for me to navigate correctly on my own. Walker Percy kept asking the question in his book: have you sought help? Have I sought help to walk down these paths? Yes. I know I am not walking them alone. And I know I have a long way to go.

I love the look of...

a bird perched close to me
a friend receiving a gift
a chest as it rises and falls, as it inhales and exhales
a reflection in a tall window when night time approaches

Yes, yes... always returning when some little happening inspires sustained thought. And in those moments writing seems all that will make help make sense. Writing tendency: leave out semi significant words that could connect thoughts. Why? The thoughts aren't connected in my mind.

likely: I won't run in the morning
lovely: the sun has brightened life and now I am living for day light.

so maybe I will bike.

life fragments...

here we go again.

sleep well.

Kevan Gilbert

is 20, and has the raddest music on his website.

check it out.

http://www.kev.elbowroomdesign.com

so the goal now is to read Nietzche's Genealogy of morals before Tuesday, construct a character, core concept, setting, etc for my screen play, write an article on some political event before next friday, and read more of this note from the pope.

Those are my classes in a nutshell. I have the raddest classes this semester: first is Christianity and Culture. We've been discussing and challenging so many topics just accepted in churches. It's quite the rock to my evangelical core but I am glad for it. Screenwriting is next... Yeah Bish, I am learning more and more about our elementary fantasy. I think we may have started off wrong, but now I am getting the proper footing. There are so many good sounding movies out there.. I think I have been so disillusioned with movies because I was plugged into the pop culture stream and missed out on hearing about some good classics just because I wasn't thrilled with any of the movies I had seen. More to that.. but note to self: careful not to write off a medium. Journalism in a political context may be very useful to me in the future with my current idea of pursuits: media reform, media literacy etc. The instructor is 65 years old from Ottawa, full of stories, immense yet fragile, and very experienced... haven't garnered much from the class yet... but I am hopeful. Last is The Contemporary Catholic Theology of the Love of God. We're just breaking the surface in this class... I've heard it's amazing.

And... other parts of life: Issue #7 is out and looking snazzy (some have said). I'm listening to Seldom follow their hearts (reminds me of a story Austin once told me about running through some department store with friends "following their heart": visuals). James is planning huge on the student leadership side of things and I'm nervous. And, we'll be home for a day or so this weekend (Saturday and Sunday). So I'll be thinking of you all when we're in the area.

peace.

For the record: I don't have ownership over www.leah.com, which is really too bad because they have such a -rad- web designer. Also, I didn't spread word about my xanga because, for the most part, it was just in existence so that I could leave comments on bethany's xanga (algoprofound: so much so). And today, I will leave you with a few words taken out of context from Soren Kierkegaard:

"In order for a person to become aware of his self and of God, imagination must raise him higher than the miasma of probability, it must tear him out of this and teach him to hope and to fear--or to fear and to hope--by rendering possible that which surpasses the quantum satis [sufficient amount] of any experience." (p.41)
From The Sickness Unto Death

favourite professor hughes sent me an e-mail expressing his disappointment that I had closed down my website. I know, it was an unfortunate turn of events but I just didn't have time to keep it up and it was really getting too many hits and random people who wanted to come over and color and stuff and.. I just couldn't handle the commitment with all of these friends. So I will focus elsewhere (here posting cool quotes and such again) (oh, and my xanga home that lets me leave comments on Bethany's xanga). So, once again apologies for closing down the site. I will manifest myself elsewhere. I promise (which means even more to me now).

for old times' sake: http://www.leah.com

I love collage.

evidenced in our home office. Melissa, Veronica and I fill the walls with pieces and pictures of our lives. Veronica's massive calender. Melissa's Rose and catscratch tic-tac-toe match with Uncle Billy. My posters ripped off poles and walls in Europe. we've brought our lives together in this small space and the edges are meeting and adhereing to one another.

I love college.

evidenced in class today. In TV and Culture we talked about advertising and Professor Kevin begged the class for their views on the consumer molded hearts that have been created. Class said: we can't do anything, we go along with it (rar). Kevin said: It doesn't jive with a Christian worldview. We need to engage this not just eat it because it's been placed before us. Then tonight in IDIS, our professors in the first two rows of the far left seating section caught my eye. They are treated to some of the most interesting topics, discussions, arguments in the world and they're hungry for more. With worn faces they listened to the lecturer. They've heard this; they've wrestled with it before; they're hungry for more, though tired.

I love chamomile.

evidence in the present moment. The composite herb from Europe and North Africa has medicinal qualities that will put any tired heart to sleep. The day was lovely. I am discovering the necessity for random encounters with people, nature, and other forms of beauty. Also the necessity for structure to be mentally able to experience such things. I sat on a bench for five minutes taking in the golden leaves of the trees; I watched hearts by the hearth of a fire before the Mars' Hill meeting; I appreciated the chill of coming winter on bicycles with my sister and dear friend Zach; I fell into a couch with Veronica to discuss life, controversy, love, and friendship. The evening was beautiful (Happy blue birthday cake, sarah).

I love sleep.

Seth,

I was sitting in the Atrium studying yesterday and saw this individual walk past. He was clad in khakis and flipflops, and walking with a slight poof of air below his heels.

I thought of you.

miss you, friend

returning.

nearly everything seems somewhat cyclical. history is said to follow some cycle of crisis, stability, revolution, unraveling. current thought looks on old thoughts, picking out the best.

perhaps inspiration has returned. in a new form, but nonetheless returned. inspiration in the form of rest after an extended evening. warm hands despite the fall evening chill.

a promise for spring's return. so I'll enjoy the coming winter. seeking beauty in all that it would be simplest to give up on. Kicking leaves, eating white snow, listening to the rain fall.

learning, absorbing, sharing, loving.

life is beautiful within the chaos of studies. life is beautiful within the messiness of relatings.

finding peace in prolonged conclusions. warmth in coming moments.

returning.

(this is almost abstract enough for the raw... and this is how I am doing)

I think I bit my lip.

And in other news: The second issue is out (welcome to another year of leah's life in paper time. events are marked according to which issue they fall in, on, or between). I nearly broke while we were creating it. but gems of friends like Bethany (the presentation editor, aka best friend to the visual editor) and Veronica (roommate and Editor-in-Chief) didn't let me question my abilities for long.

It's so easy to fall into this hole of dispair when creating. Especially when you feel so inept. Especially when you feel that people are expecting a high quality, perfectly designed, piece of art. It was so frustrating earlier this week. But today, the paper arrived at 130pm. People were taking them as we put them in the stacks. The guy who did the main illustration was shell shocked (he didn't know it would be the central design of the whole paper!). And one of my photographs is enlarged and on the cover of 1500 newspapers. It's just as crazy as last time having a collage I made on the cover of 1500 newspapers... I don't know what to do with all of this. It's so crazy!

It's when I feel weakest that God reminds me He's working through me. When I don't believe I can do it He knows that I can. Maybe that's why I don't give up in the end... even though I doubt my strength the whole way... it's better because I rely on His.

Love and living are a beautiful madness. It's like spring time here.

I need to scan and upload newspaper covers for you all.

Hope home and your lives are lovely!

What a month it has been!

I have no idea where to start and what to say because it seems ultimate recap would be ridiculous...

We made a paper. It took a week of design and a few sleepless nights and it's OUT and we partied tonight and people LIKE[D] it! (the paper and the party).

friend Nate got an organ at a thrift store a week or so ago. It's retro fashion was all the inspiration needed for a stellar jam session/release party. We invited a few musician friends and told them to just improv the night away. Never having played in unison, they came together and created some of the sickest arrangements I have ever heard. What was even more beautiful about the situation was the relationships initiated and stimulated. The musicians found a bond; I got to know more of our paper staff through set-up, carry out, and take down; we all bonded and provided a casual, comfortable space for people to read the paper, enjoy the music, meet people, fellowship, and drink rootbeer floats. It went over so well.

Tomorrow I take off with the rest of the e-board for a weekend retreat: more teambuilding and a dose of relaxation that we've been aching for for days.

The theme of the first issue was Community: this was carried through the issue, into our party, and continues on in our lives. Discovering what it means to be in a community and what true community is... beautiful.a

greetings from far, far away!

[soon to be further!]

I leave for school (Trinity, not Lithuania) this Saturday (August 21). At the end of the summer I am realizing that there were a few people I didn't get to hangout with nearly as much as I wanted (Austin, send Karen and Sharon my greetings and apologies) (Seth, enjoy your coffee!).

This year will be fanatically busy but wonderful. James and I will be in the same country again! I am living with two of my favourite people (Melissa and Veronica) AND I get to be the visual editor for the mars' hill. Looking back a year ago: I have no idea how I got here. All I know is that God has been holding my hand and holding me close all the while. For this and many other things I am thankful.

I'll send the usual e-mail with contact information when I know it.

God Bless!!

Just another obscurity I have learned about life:

Sometimes you don't realize what you are passionate for, against, or about until circumstance slaps you in the face. I suppose that is part of what keeps life exciting: we're never going to have it "figured out" because each step brings us closer to the next obscurity. There's a slight rush involved with not knowing: and it's extreme when you think you know but quickly learn you don't.

***

I traded blogging for more sleep: I consider it a good trade. However, the blogger in me has been itching to get out.

Sarah says she won't be a dictator for my blog. I just wanted her to transcribe a bit while we were on the road, but it's nice to know she has relinquished her right to rule over my dot blogspot dot com.

Since we're already talking about Sarah, let's continue!

This morning we hit the road for a mini-roadtrip to the Great White North: our second home, Canada. For once this summer I wasn't going up there to see James (that would be a challenge since he is travelling in Europe right now). Sarah and I had lunch at our traditional spot in Fort Langley and bought Mom her traditional cheese scone. While waiting for our food to come I started to pick at the scone (they're quite good) so Sarah took action and hid the scone on her side of the table (kudos). I told her not to forget it... but as we started down the road I turned my head to Sarah in the driver's seat and asked, "did you remember the scone?"

"...no. should we turn around?"

I couldn't supress my laughter, "that's awful!"

"that is awful! -idiot!!-" she lamented to herself in dynamite fashion.

"let's just go..." I said, still laughing. "If mom asks her if we got her a scone we can say, 'Yes, we did. but lost it on the way."

"We can tell her you ate it!" Sarah commented truthfully as I had eaten a crumb or two... or three.

We continued without turning back remembering the misplaced cheese scone and wishing upon it a happy ending in someone elses tummy.

The event reminded me of some thoughts I have been having re: life experiences. The lessons you learn along the way are like the scone: priceless gems you want to take home with you. But you can't always take them home in the physical form. Sometimes you forget, sometimes you act with purpose. The thing is: you remember... like sarah and I will fondly remember our cheese scone incident.

The lessons I learned in Lithuania came home with me in the forms of paper scraps and nesting dolls. I don't see these every day of my life but their memory lives on fondly in my daily actions. It's not about going back and unnesting my dolls each morning or eating a portion of the cheese scone to remember the taste. I've experienced it once and will take that with me for life.

Sarah: thanks for forgetting the cheese scone in Fort Langley.

The summer has reached it's peak and will cascade from here. The STP is over, nearly all of my muscles are slightly sore. Now it's just a few weeks before James leaves for a month in Europe and a few weeks after that I return to Trinity. More report on the 206 miles of the STP later... I am exhausted tonight.

Talking with Debbie, Molly, and Amanda last night was good. We discussed our journal size preferences, pen weight prefereneces, and how we need to be moldable in God's sculpting hands.

I am always making promises as to how I am going to change my life: it's hard to get your sleepy-self to convince your able-body to wake up in the morning. Sleep hangs on like a 4 yearold around your leg, just wanting to play a few more minutes. That's a slight challenge to the makethedaymoreproductive plans. That, and I can't seem to get in bed before 1200.

A few things I have been thinking about:

The fact that a person only enjoys the music of a song but doesn't take the time to appreciate the music: is that like a slap in the face to the artist who took so much time to create this unified art form of which the person chooses to chop it up in half and only appreciate it in part?

Melissapi: She gets home today!! I haven't seen her for 7 months!! Oh-so-excited!

Creation: Hoping to attend one day to visit with good friends (Adrianne, Jess, Michelle!) and maybe hear some quality music while I am there (Audio Adrenaline and Switchfoot are the main attractions on thursday night)

Klaipeda: How if I were to board a plane right now, bound for Lithuania, I would feel as though I were coming home from some super-extended vacation. The thing is: Klaipeda is no longer what it was as what it was is now spread all over the world. Kind of strange to be longing for something that doesn't exist as it was.

STP: tomorrow starts the resting phase. Two days rest before two days of torture. Today I biked, bouldered, and ran.. and will now go bike again and run some errands down in Woodinville.

back to the day,

oh, leah. Go to bed.

PS: I bought some of my own pictures on ofoto. It's the first time I've gotten prints of my digital images. The cool thing is, because of their different presentation, they will have a whole new impact on me. I am stoked to see them.

Happy Independence Day!

time time time time time time.

I can say it 10000 times in one day and its amount will never increase. That's trouble. But really I just need to reorganize and learn how to manage the time I have better.

I have this tendency to stay up late because night hours offer you nice, quiet, seemingly endless time to get little projects done (like removing a desk from your bedroom and seperating the beds to prepare for your older sister who is coming home on Saturday!) BUT! When you stay up until the early hours of the morning, the later hours are shot because you feel the intense need to sleep. Ah, sleep... why does it have to take up so much time?

Two things I have decided: I will bike to work from now to the STP. Essentially I hope to bike everywhere as long as daylight and safety allows me to. And the other thing I decided is that I need to wake up earlier and be in bed at a pseudo decent hour.

On Monday morning I woke up around 600am with the rest of the Moeses. Mr. Moes was out watering the plants and lawns already, Nathan was reading the paper and napping, Mrs. Moes had breakfast ready and James was on his way out the door to work. The quiet morning hours were quite a bit sweeter than the dark midnight hours. Aside from being slightly sleep deprived I intensely enjoyed the morning sun which seemed lighter (almost fluffier) than the dank sun of the afternoon. It was so refreshing.

now to the afternoon...

It has been two months.. ok, not exactly two, but nearly so.

As I sat on the hot dog chair at the hot dog stop I considered what this two month marker meant. How has the time in Lithuania manifested itself in my life? The obvious disregard for strict timelines aside... the thing I find myself thankful for everyday are the relationships and the life experience.

Three things take up my time these days: work, bike, email. If I am not working in the morning I am most likely out on the trail training. If it's dark then I am at home trying to keep up with all those relationships God has blessed me with. Dad says I need to remember to prioritize and get more sleep... I know, but sleep is such trouble when you have so many people to enjoy.

speaking of sleep... Tomorrow morning Dad and I are heading north towards Bellingham to move Bekah's stuff from her apartment to her new ugly pink house. Bekah is still in Prague (the lucky beast doesn't have to do the moving of the heavy stuff!) so she will be missing out. Then after that I am heading to Canada for the rest of the weekend.

Oh, and in other news. Today I went to QFC for lunch. Around the store were brand test stations manned by gray-haired old ladies in embroidered white blouses. For the record, I preferred twice the QFC brand over the nation brand, and once had no preferrence. The QFC white sharp cheddar was smoother than the national brand.. but I couldn't tell a difference between the cashews. The QFC salsa kicked because it had corn and black beans. mmm!

Have a beautiful weekend everyone!

This isn't on my to do list for tonight but allowances are made from time to time. So here we have a brief update on life:

Wednesday I fell from a rock wall and fell for climbing. Molly and I did some bouldering (horizontal rock climbing) and I am still enjoying the after shock of sore sore fore arms that I never knew could be so sore.

Wednesday night I got a food handler's permit for my second part time job. Yes, not only am I working at the printshop, I also work at Redmond Town Center at a cute little hotdog stand. Now with permit in wallet I can grill up the meanest shnausages legally in the state of washington. I never knew grilling could be so thrilling.

Training continues for the STP. Less than a month away, I am encouraging myself now with thoughts of, "there will be slower people than me..." No really, I'll be totally fine. I might not have feeling in my butt for a few days post-finish line, but that is part of the experience, hey?

Tomorrow is our annual family campout with my Dad's side. I am so excited because both of my California uncles (and one California Aunt) will be there!! AND! James is coming to meet some extended family... My uncles are in for a good time. hehe. We're going to Chehalis WA. It should be a beautiful weekend.

That's life in a brief. Now to all the things that are actually on my to do list.

peace.

Sunday school was fun this morning, though somehow it seemed terribly short. Pastor Jeff is off studying in SoCal for the week so Dad led the ABF (Adult Bible Fellowship) in fragmented (we were seperated into three groups) discussion on spiritual gifts.

Sarah and I grouped with one of our former Sunday School teachers (grades 5 and 6) who also happens to be Pastor Jeff's wife, Joanie. After reminiscing about kickboxing and various other non-Sunday School acitivities that were acted in Sunday School, we decided that we had all grown a lot in these past 8 years.

The questions were all about distinctions. Spiritual gifts vs. natural abilities; spiritual gifts vs. fruit of the Spirit; exercising a gift vs. exercising a role. The principles we "concluded" with (conclusion meaning not finalized but ready for more consideration) were good to discuss and see where they fit in our lives. (1) Don't stress over distinctions (2) Spiritual gifts are fruits in action; don't focus on gifts to the exclusion of character (fruit) development (3) do you need the gift to have the role? God will equip us so excuses like, "I can't do [fill in the blank] because I don't have this gift.." won't fly.

Not by power, nor by might, but by His Spirit.

keep in step.

The time to write is at night. Well, usually. Tonight I am having issues keeping my eyes open. This means these thoughts may be slightly incoherent and the probability of typos is four times greater than it would be on a normal late night.

Earlier this evening I hated photojournalism. I was watching Nancy Reagan stroking her husband's coffin, crying. For a moment I could faintly hear her whispering something to him before my ears were ambushed by the sound of machine guns firing at her grieving frame. Photojournalists incessantly shooting the former first lady in her most vulnerable moment. I don't think I would've minded the pictures so much if that awful shutter noise wouldn't have attacked the perfect sunset.

Funerals can be beautiful celebrations. Ronald Reagan's was. God blessed his weary son with the perfect sunset, descending from the Californian sky.

Supposedly I should be racking up 180 miles on the bike this week for the STP training. Oh my dear goodness, that just isn't going to happen.

My midday hours were spent outdoors: this is a wonderful thing. I attacked some unnecessary grass and weeds in our front-side yard and wondered how quickly my skin would start to burn (how can I miss the annual summer tribute to neopolitan?). After the dirt soaked into my knees I changed hobbies and grabbed a wrench. Dad got a new bike a few weeks ago so I decided to adopt his red schwin. This bike is a few years older than I am. After lowering the seat a foot or two I am now able to reach the peddles and sit at the same time. Quite the accomplishment.

So the next few days I will be testing the schwin to see if we like each other enough to bike together the 200 some odd miles from Seattle to Portland. If we don't get along I'll be on the toosmallformylankylegs Trek Antelope.

Time to ride!

Friday morning in all its glory:

I woke up to the sun shine flooding the small living room of my older sister's 3rd floor apartment. My eyes weren't tired anymore but thankful for the first picture they were greeted with: rolling green hills with a valley full of living accomodations for college students and families. Bekah and I ate breakfast together as I read to her the duties she must complete for her "room inspection" at the end of the semester. "Yes, Bekah, you can move the refridgerator from the wall and vacuum behind it." Everything is non-abrasive; everything will be shiny. My lazy morning continues as I prepare to get "artsy" to the tune of the WWU marching band practicing somewhere in the valley. The brassy calls and sick drum beats echo off the hills coming back to the small living room of my older sister's 3rd floor apartment.

See, I told you: glory.

The afternoon ran something like this: Another sunny lunch hour by the waterside reading another chapter of CS Lewis' Mere Christianity. Yes, this book has been on my reading list since 11th grade. It's finally being read and I think it's being more enjoyed than it would've been thanks to what I learned this past semester in Moral Philosophy and Philosophy of religion. Kudos for education!

After making my cheeks rosy and coming to the conclusion that I don't tan I just pink I returned to work. Did some photoshoppin' and some freehandin' then met up with Sarah. We sped home. I packed. I sped to Bellevue. Picked up the package. Sped to Edmonds (all the while sarah earl jones was my book on tape reading book 3 of Harry Pottah to me in her sultry yet dignified voice: props) and at some point I borded a train to Bellingham.

I forgot to wear my BNSF train shirt. I rode a train and didn't wear my train shirt.... what is wrong with me!? Well, I have been forgetting and misjudging a lot lately. My lax Lithuanian way of letting things happen just doesn't really fly in American culture. Sarah and I left her bike in the back of the truck the other night. Someone else decided to take it out for us. Yeah. that wasn't good. But the strange occurence showed to me how much my dear little sister has matured in the past year. She handled the shock of losing Augustus with amazing patience and grace. Sarah gets two high fives and a pat on the back.

So I rode the train not in my train shirt but in a black tank top. That'll have to do. I had always wanted to ride the edmonds to bellingham line in the day time. The coast line was beautiful. As I rode north it hit me that I was returning again. It's a perpetual returning after the four.5 months in Lithuania and Europe. Tonight I stopped in Bellingham to play Scattergories with my dear older sister Bekah and her roommates, Then tomorrow it's on to my other home away from home: Langley British Columbia. The road to the border will be the first oddity. Crossing the border the next. And the first time I see the TWU campus again... so odd! But I love odd things so I am really looking forward to tomorrow and the rest of the weekend as it is my dear mister moes' birthday.

Happy 21st Birthday James!

Ok, I should let Bekah get to bed so she can rest before her final final tomorrow morning. I will make her muffins and then drive her to school (I am practicing my mothering skills).

If you want a good read check out the journals on my friend Shawn Kelley's travel site. He and his wife Danielle are going to Kenya for 11 weeks for a travel study and then helping out missionaries in the country. What an experience! Tell them how cool they are in the comments: Kenya

Amanda and I are going to meet atleast once a week this summer for a few minutes of encouragement and conversation. We did it via e-mail in the fall and I am realizing how invaluable that accountability was for me. There were certain overarching themes from my time in Lithuania that Amanda has encountered here in Seattle in a different way: childcare. From suffering to the role of history (in our pasts and our presents) three yearolds provide excellent case studies for soceity.

She also retold for me the story in a little tract called "My Heart Christ's Home." A piece that fits in the puzzle God has been helping me put together in the last few days. My friend Veronica said it best: "I'm taking the summer to really narrow down my life to the motivations that matter, and the time to be centered and still in what's often a chaotic life."

Tomorrow I start my second week of work at dtm and training for a possible STP (Seattle to Portland) bike excursion with my Dad and a friend from church. It'll be a good week!

(and as a side note, this looks like fun: Lollapalooza 2004 Lineup Day 1 Morrissey, Sonic Youth, PJ Harvey *, Le Tigre, Modest Mouse, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Von Bondies, Broken Social Scene, The Walkmen, Wolf Eyes, Danger Mouse, Datsuns, Sparta, DJ Peretz Day 2 String Cheese Incident, Flaming Lips, Gomez, Polyphonic Spree, The Thrills, Fire Theft, The Coup, Sound Tribe Sector 9, Elbow, Wheat, DJ Peretz)

It's highly likely that I will be unpacking all summer long only to pack up again in less than three months. This is such an odd way to live... it's a perpetual moving. This summer is going to run away from me.

informercials are redundant... but redundancy isn't always that bad. However, in the case of infomercials: redundancy is bad. It's better to get up and turn off the background media.

The side effects of transcontinental travel are still lingering. The little weights that fall from my eyelids at 830 everynight are a constant reminder that something fierce and amazing was my life and is trying to find it's space in the layout of my timeline.

Jetlag is a wonderful thing. Right now I would be contently lost in the logistics of organizing and solidifying summer employment like any return home from school, but this one is different as evidenced by the jetlag.

It's been wonderful picking up relationships and envisioning what the summer will hold together. It's been wonderfully chaotic to be drastically closer to James so we can continue our longdistance relationship with only two hours between us (perpetually excited for the weekend...). It's been wonderful hanging out with Sarah like we haven't done for many months.

There are so many more people I haven't seen yet. So many thoughts I haven't typed out yet. So many random piles of memories that I need to clean up.

In time... there's that constant reminder...

I told Adrianne when we went to Tallinn about my problem with crushing after city upon city like a school girl in the spring: St.Petersburg was hot, but Tallinn was something else. The crushes haven't stopped there. My parents and I have been touring europe for two.5 weeks now (going home on friday!!!!) and I have fallen (yet again) for the beautiful city of Bruxelles, Belgium. It's *drop dead gorgeous*!

We're staying with a missionary family here in Belgium that I have known since before I knew I knew. My dad and the Dad went to high school together and have been reminiscing while singing old musical tunes they performed in highschool together (high tenor solo in the bar scene of Fiddler on the Roof: yeah, that's was my dad in his highschool production) We've also had a lot of time to talk about their mission here to Iranian immigrants and the difficulties with the government etc. The cultural discussions haven't stopped coming up (talking about Poles with my friend Travis on a mission in Krakow, and Parisians with more family friends in Paris) for which I am terribly thankful. European culture seems to have the same overtone through the west and east. It's great discovering the differences too.

I'm in this weird transition place (they probably warned us about this in the last "SSS" meeting) where I don't feel connected with my friends at home and I don't really connected with my friends in Lithuania. It's kind of a funny feeling but I know it will resolve itself swiftly.

the week has passed kind of slowly, actually, but in the way that weeks pass when you aren't aware of the days. We are at Kava Kava Kava, a little coffee shop in Prague. Tomorrow is our last day here and then it's on to Heidelberg (Jess's old stomping grounds!) for a night, then Paris for a few days. I am going to go all out on the Amelie photo action and hopefully find a lawn gnome (or ninja) to take pictures of.

It's great being with my parents and I am thankful for the gradual re-entry back into my NA social circle. We're having a good time checking out the historic sights and weird food.

St.Petersburg's theme was pictures in puddles
Tallinn's theme was rad doors
Krakow's theme was Kebab's
Prague's theme is single men and sexshops.... ummm. yeah. They have more of these than I would like to remember, but I will think of a better theme in my last day. Like rad photography!

back to the hotel! Less than TWO WEEKS and I am BACK IN SEATTLE!

la la la!

They aren't sad goodbyes... yet. (I still have a few more days...)

I just said goodbye to my Belarusian friend Stiopa. The boy has the most addicting laughter/cackle I have ever heard. I want to tape it and listen to it every day after lunch to brighten the height of the day a little more. It wasn't really a goodbye, more of a thank you for making me smile; thank you for letting me laugh with you.

That is what most of my "goodbyes" will be: just thank yous; I appreciate yous; I love yous; I will miss yous; etc... The phrase that the LCC students seem to like to use for the study abroads is: I'll see you in Heaven. And that's encouraging.

Goodbyes bring some sort of closure... and I am feeling quite comfortable with closing this chapter of my life and starting a new one. There will be a few returning characters and several characters whose impacts will never be forgotten or left out of the story from here on out.

I am extremely thankful for each person I have met here and what they have been in my life and also thankful that I was able to offer them something of myself. We were brought together for this time. And it's time to move on, say thank you, and wave goodbye.

***

I leave Klaipeda on Sunday afternoon and start my three week journey around Western Europe. Krakow, Prague, Heidelberg, Paris, Brussells, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Seattle. I'll be home in the early evening of the 21st of May. Not my Bendrabutis home here on Karklu in my 5th floor urban highrise with a view of the Baltic Sea: my Woodinville home with it's terribly cozy couches and oh-so-familiar halls and doorways.

Only three more weeks in beautiful Europe.

Tonight we return to where it all began... Not Vilnius: HBH! HBH was perhaps the start of our Klaipeda adventures... It's this rad ethnic Lithuanian Restaurant in the middle of a forest some 30 minutes out of town. How does it stay in business? The world may never know... except for the fact that it's out door wooden wonderland and theme park excited even the aged babushkas with the opporunity to swing on the spinning top. Don't wear gloves when you grab onto these bars because you will fall off and the bruises linger for a few weeks (several of us learned the hard way the first time around..).

I have already made the decision that I won't eat the Zepellini (though mom, you will have to try it when you come, hehe) and will find whatever dish has my favourite Grikiu as a side dish (I guess it's somewhat equivalent to buckwheat.. and somewhat delicious in it's blandness if you ask me!).

Anyway, two more papers to write and a lot of people to enjoy to the full in these last 10 days in Lithuania. I will try to write one of those mega "Letter from Lietuva" in a less mega way soon. I realized I never told anyone about my beloved Tallinn more than that obscure italian and his towel. It's -a lot- better than that.

don't freeze your ovaries! (haha)

leah from lietuva.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOLLY SUE DEVER!!!

Welcome to the realm of 19 yearolds.

It's terribly exciting and only lasts a year so enjoy
it while you can!

I love you friend!

There was something... it always starts this way.. but it's true: There was something so terribly beautiful about this night. Eleven sojourners enjoying a picnic 100 yards from the Baltic Sea discussing delicious food and eating it; discussing depature and preparing for it. My heart has made a home of this place, it took 2.5 months but my heart is at home here. And now it's time for being at home here is nearly up and I am presented with another cross-cultural experience: crossing back to my own culture.. or what I once knew as my own. It's another arrival: "Re-entry adjustment will, in some ways, parallel your adjustment when moving to Lithuania. The more successful you have been in adjusting here, the harder the adjustment going back may be. Along with the usual symptoms of re-entry and adjustment you will find that you are different and have been changed -- you have developed new attitudes, values, perceptions."

I guess the thing that dismays me most is the fact that people are telling me to expect others not to care what happened here: they just want to hear that I had a good time and will be satisfied. They don't know the people I've come to love, the places, the experiences, the food, the way of life... I am supposed to prepare some stock answer for the masses and divulge the heart of it to the few that will give an ear. It's a gross reality that I couldn't imagine being the case with my own friends and family. Everyone else seems to accept it as fact, and I seem to be the only one in denial (and the only one who hasn't had the chance to experience it).

Happy Birthday Granda!

or as we would say in Lithuania:

Su.... um... I'll check on that. I think it's Su Giemo Diena!

At Christmas I got to hang out with my little californian cousin Kimmie. With 14 years between us, I consider my lingering youthfulness a gift allowing me to still connect with my favourite cousins and younger friends. Kimmie has no understanding of personal space and little regard for turkey breath. Her young eyes saught fairy tales in my own and when she found them she desired to be as close as possible.

It was during one of these eye probing moments that she realized that my eyes are rather large. Kimmie spread wide her eye lids to attempt to try to match the openess of my own and giggled at her attempt.

I have big eyes, but before I came to Lithuania, I saw so little. What with issues of culture and studying history in a new way [living in the history] I am seeing life in a new light... slightly more exposed. I am seeing my pursuits and their ends in a wider angle. I can hardly believe how small my sight was before... Kimmie saw the potential in my eyes for seeing... I won't let her down.

My sight has changed... and I never want to refocus to what I saw before... I only want to see more.

Sorry I haven't written for a while. I was in Estonia!

ha! I just love saying that... I was in Estonia. mmm da na na. Yeah! That's cool. Tallinn [the capitol of Estonia] is my newest love for European cities. It's cleaner than Vilnius; more intimate than St.Petersburg.. and a lot more stylish than Klaipeda. It has a wall dedicated to wool gifts called the sweater wall... how much cooler can you get than that?

No cars are allowed in old town [except taxis and business owners] so you can walk in the middle of the cobble stone streets and stop nearly anywhere to take a picture of sketch on the curb. And you're sure to make a friend with a drunk Fin, there for the weekend, or an Italian man walking around your hostel in a nothing but a towl that hardly meets in the back [at which point, if you are me you divert your eyes at first site of the towel so as to avoid the possible issues behind it. Thankfully there was no crack or drugs at the hostel... but the strip bar upstairs...]

and now I must go. I love you all and hope your weeks are beautiful.

I thought the internet was bad before: now it's a battle to merely get connection on most days. And that's a bit stressing right now because I am trying to preregister for classes for next year and arrange my job for the summer. Internet Cafe, here I come.

Stories could be told but I am not wanting to relay them right now. Instead I am looking out this window next to me to a sea of unique obscurely large houses behind the school. There's a large plot of dirt between the sea and me: call it the beach if you want. The beach is for future LCC expansion: more classrooms, dorms, and fancy landscaping to enhance the little lake (think spray fountains: oooh) that I originally thought was an oversized puddle. It's the puddles that capture me today. More the way the wind moves across them; skimming the surface, creating unique patterns. And this was how the snow leveled out to a flat plane a two weeks ago (when we still had snow). I sat in Michaelsen centras appreciating the dance of fallen snow: rising from the ground to fall again in a new more level place. You could take a ruler to it and catch no excess. Talk of creativity and natural landscaping.

Tip for future Eastern European travelers: boiled sausages are just glorified hot dogs. And they put them on pizzas. Ha!

And there is something strangely brilliant about seagulls flying with a grey backdrop: they seem whiter than usual. Bland, possibly boring, but strangely beautiful.

I interviewed my good friend Ernesta for a intercomm paper. Finding it to be less an interview and more like our typical conversations I called the paper dried fruit for tea and a conversation for an interview. My Lithuanian instructor asked in his comments: "By the way, do write poetry?" Mmm... still a little hesitant to call myself a poet but I do find that my natural voice is more prominant in my writing here. I am more formal because I am less formal: yet it's so natural (not necessarily the formality, but yes the formality in certain subjects).

All the while I have been waiting for my trinity e-mail account to open up; and I think it may have now. So! Farewell, and enjoy the typography.

MONDAY 03.22.04

Oh goodness. I know I should be fired for the lack of updates on life and such but forgive me: there has been a lot going on.

Most SAs found their first week back from Russia to be a challenge. Mine was mostly normal, the latter half aside. Classes continued: I wrote mini papers, read books for bigger papers, drank tea, walked around, celebrated a birthday (Char is 19!).

Wednesday was a bit obscure... Esther and I left Karklu at 1130 for LCC. Stepping into the fog I got the oddest feeling and said to Esther, "this is a strange day!" That was further confirmed as we walked the cobblestone shortcuts and side streets to school. There were more men on the streets than usual (Lithuanian men are a bit strange in the first place because the greater majority of them all wear black pants, black leather coat with a black sweater with red stripes down the arms underneath and then top it off with a black toque: you got the Lithuanian style. It doesn't matter if you and your dad wear the same outfit because your uncle and brother are too and your neighbors...). Everyone seemed to move in some predetermined rhythm that was somehow off a beat. A large twisted old man braced his car door as he attempted to make himself perpendicular with the ground again. One boy crawled under the dfence, another was already through, the last struggled again, again, and again to overcome the top. But he fell to the syncopapted rhythm, once again slightly off beat. The fog through the barren trees: just branches with buds fighting for spring. The dark lines in the low grey cloud created the ideal backdrop for a Sigur Ros video -- and I felt as though I were in one as a boy quickened his pace behind us on the path: coming closer and closer in his red coat. The day was strange and so was the sight of a woman struggling to pick up potatos from behind the dumpster.

No closure.. I still don't feel like that day has closed. The rest hven't been as strange but when I reflect on these images now living in my mind the same strange feeling overwhelms me. Thankfully the night of Wednesday was excellent: we had our study abroad small group meeting at an instructor's flat. Excellent fruit pizza and superb conversation like last time. We talked about Russia and our struggles and delights with the culture and orthodoxy. It was good hearing what everyone had to say again in a new light after a few days of reflection.

At some point this weekend I decided I wanted to smile more at the people walking past me on the streets. So I did today and was pleasantly surprised at how people respond. One girl walking on the opposite side of the street actually beat me to the smile. I watched her walk away and botived the bounce in her step: so refreshing. Most people don't smile back... but I much prefer smiling at them than accepting the Lithuanian stone-face when I walk the streets. At the same time it's good to know I don't have to smile and shouldn't unless I mean it. Meaning that I care for them and more importantly that God cares for them (even if I don't know them). So I guess that's part of my witness (which I am trying to improve in my last five weeks here).

Computer lab is closing so I am going to go eat a bruised apple and prepare for moral philosophy.

More stories later...

the rumors are true... I have returned home [to the lithuanian highrise overlooking the baltic sea] WITH my camera and footage of the forbidden metro! [which were essentially glorified subways]

Russia was enchanting... I think I am in love with St.Petersburg. The canals and beautiful bridges; Free entrance for students to the Hermitage; cheap [semi-illegal] cds; funky russian style; walking everywhere: it was my dream vacation I never knew I dreamed of.

So many great experiences to write of but little time to do so right now. I promise I will write it up and get it out within the week [or else I will forget myself and that would be a true tragedy].

And now I will return to my breakfast and maybe attmept some philosophical reading because now that I am back my schedule is fairly consumed with papers and the occasional weekend trip to Latvia/Estonia and another to the opposite corner of Lithuania.

we'll chat soon.

Ok Mom. Here's my itinerary:

03.06.04
leave Klaipeda 845
arrive Riga 1400
leave for Moscow on night train at 1600 (with our own little 4 person rooms!)

03.07.04-03.09.04
Moscow

03.09.04
leave Moscow on night train to St.Petersburg @ 2330

03.10.04-03.13.04
St.Petersburg

03.13.04
leave St.Petersburg on night train to Riga @ 2149

03.14.04
arrive Riga 930
arrive Klaipeda 1500

oh wow...

So the SA leaders are using a "shock-em-into-submission" type tactic for our Russia trip. Outlining the worst to prepare us for the best. I appreciate it but at the same time... their tactic is working and I am a bit freaked out of getting lost on the metro and not being able to read my Russian metro schedule to get home to the hostel (don't worry mom it probably won't happen.. and if it does, I will have a buddy... and if I get seperated from my buddy.. then I will run avoiding all the gangs and questionable folk).

There are so many rules about when and where you can't take pictures. Vilma said they would actually come and take my camera if I get caught shooting the supposedly ingenious metro underground. And even thinking of taking a picture of Lenin is suicide! So many rules to follow... and I have to decide how devious I want to be with my camera. hmmm... We'll see.

I am off to Moscow tomorrow morning (saturday) and will be returning on the afternoon of the 14th. I will correspond sometime after that with many stories, fables, and I hope a camera and pictures from the motherland.

enjoy your weeks!!

A story that must be shared! ha! It's from an e-mail I was writing (sorry for the redundancy James!) so enjoy because I did!!

oh! There was this one guy who was really excited to meet some american girls. He took a picture for us then after he finished his meal he came over to our table again and said "I just wanted to say, I hope you have a great time" in troubled english. Then when he left the cafe he knocked as he walked past the window to get our attention then took his two hands up to his face, grabbed his ears and the corners of his mouth and made a funny face at us! We giggled so much and watched him walk away with a HUGE smile on his face. He's my favourite random Lithuanian I have met thus far!

It struck me last night that memories were escaping me because I wasn't writing them down often enough. So I journaled and took care of that problem. Ah, the bliss of an easy solution!

Spring supposedly defeated winter the other day at Uzgavenes (Pagan Pancake Tuesday/Shrove Tuesday)... I saw it with my own eyes at the festival on Sunday. Little men were running around with huge burlap potato heads smacking each other with long foamy whips. And Spring won, yeah? And that's why it's snowing again. I think I appreciate the snow more today. It's beautiful, as is the monstrous grey wall reaching to the heavens preventing any Baltic sea viewage for the morning.

More on the pagan pancake festival and other adventures in Lietuva later. For now I am writing to say that fotolog decided to be kind to me this morning and let me upload a picture! So exciting! It's not one from Ofoto, so enjoy.

from lietvua.

Have a wonderful day!

I am taking two philosophy classes which I think is trouble. It's good to exercise the mind but many philosophers had to be depressed just because they thought about things too much. While listening to my professor rage on about some random sidestream that may or may not have related to philosophy of religion I started writing little notes to myself about philosophers:

if you can talk in a commanding voice and pretend like you know what you are talking about, people will probably believe you.

are their any happy philosophers?

I like happy philosophers.

If you think too much about things that have had no conclusion for centuries, what are you accomplishing? Worse: if you don't allow people to think for themselves on such issues and instead just lead them on till they come to your conclusion.

***

In other news: I visited a Russian Orthodox church in Palanga this afternoon. It's 2 years old with an explanation for every corner and colour of the building. There is something beautiful in purposeful creation: be it architecture or icons. But there was something equally unsettling in the haloed european faces painted in metal and egg tempera. Seeing the russian Jesus... he wasn't smiling, he had bags under his eyes and a mean look on his face. Is this how they see Jesus? Other Jesus' about the room were stern faced and somewhat void. Do the russian orthodox know a joyful Saviour? My roommate Liuda explained to me before that one difference between orthodoxy and protestantism is in our relationships with Christ. We see him as a friendly father, they see him as a master.

It was encouraging to me, though, to see our guide laughing and expressing great joy in the everywhereness of God. He knew where to find Jesus and it wasn't just in the church or the paintings.

Oh friends, It's been so long and I still owe everyone the "biweekly" letter from lietuva. Fire me because it's still not coming out for a few days. There is so much happening here. We're past the "get to know me" stage and moving into the "we must hang out and cook food together!" The temperature is slightly less bone chillingly cold so the streets are calling my name for exploring purposes.

It's so fun to just walk around and see what remnants of past years are still lying about (like abandoned amusement parks! pictures to come). Many abandoned buildings are being explored and some avoided for the smell overpowering within. There are so many useless buildings around that would've been taken down by the State government years ago to make more room for fast food restaurants or a new Target, but here they're still standing and exist as part of the every day back drop for people. For foreigners they're an eye sore or a dream come true to explore. Oh it's -so- fun!

Tonight, Adrianne's roommate, JoAnna (Yo-anna is the pronunciation) invited us over to her apartment for a sleepover with nachos (oh I love nachos!!!). I have to make myself hungry really quick. Esther made Charlotte and I a killer pot of potato soup (I cut up the onions in a random fashion to make it more interesting!) and I made some cheesy garlic bread and we enjoyed dinner by candle light. It was enchanting.

Happy Belated St.Valentine's day, my friends. I got a nice surprise from jamesmoes when I returned from my saturday morning endeavors (the market is so entertaining: I need to get a picture of the bra-ma's). I stopped by the laundry room to chat with Adrianne for a few minutes and after two she stopped the conversation and said, "leah! go to your room!" I knew either she was planning something with Esther or there was something special waiting, and indeed there was! On my desk I found a dozen roses (7 red, 3 pink, 2 white: someone needs to explain the significance of this to me.) and a message to check my computer. I wake it from its sleep and there on my desktop is james! and a message saying to check my e-mail. So I checked... and there was nothing from him, BUT there was an e-mail from Amanda which was made me happy too! I received the e-mail from James around 2345 (hey, that's neat! 2-3-4-5! What a rad time!) with a nice little Valentine message in it. And I got a little teary eyed. His devious valentine scheme worked a lot better than my own! I tried calling him about 14 times and didn't get through till this morning and then I only got answering machines! haha. That's how it goes, eh? yeah!

Ok, it's off to JoAnna's! enjoy the day!! I will write again soon.

Falling snow is beautiful. Remember that.

So friends, I uploaded some more pictures to my ofoto account. If you didn't get the invite to it the first time leave me a comment and I will get it sent your way. Here's a little intro:

"Ok! I (ab)used the fast Internet connection at school and managed to upload a few more pictures. These are from the western side of Lithuania namely Klaipeda but also a few from my little day trip to Neringa and Juodkrante with friend Vitalijus. Several of the first few document my walk to school and were all taken "hip-shot" style (the awkward angle wasn't necessarily for crazy artistic purposes, though it could've been). And there will be more coming as the weather has improved oh so much to Seattle winter specifications and my hair doesn't freeze on the way to school anymore! (it only happened once! I was scolded and have since learned my lesson.) This change in the weather also means I will be using my non-frozen trigger finger for shooting up the archaic brick complexes that so capture my vision. Enjoy the pictures and, more importantly, enjoy your day! su Dievu!"

I know I am overdue for an update on any of the stories of life here in Lietuva but right now I am baking with a couple friends and I have to write a paper for Philosophy of Religion and attempt to acquire the fear of the Lord by reading some more proverbs tonight. Oh wow, I sound so busy.... ha! It's actually -really- not that bad. Now back to those apple muffins.

Four weeks in, I am learning how to live here. Routines are appearing and constant onslaught of foreign languages is passe and not as much of a disturbance as it was in the first few weeks. I am finding my slot at LCC and appreciating so much the unity of the community and the encouragement behind doors 1, 2, 5, and 7. It's true not ever door in this dorm is open but a gentle knock is usually greeted with a robust PRASOM and an invitation to tea. Tea and cookies will be staples from here on out in any place I call my own.

I learned on Wednesday that I've already been through a bit of culture shock (unbeknownst to me..). Though I didn't document those low moments here, I've had a few. Things like trying to create my home away from home, distancing myself from the people around me, and stereotyping. Yeah, I did all that and more. I found myself empty, communication with home wasn't satisfying and neither was the half-hearted communication here. I saught God and He led me to understand the emptiness and reminded me to be where I am.

So, maybe that can best explain why I don't blog all the time or spend hour upon hour attempting to upload pictures. There are amazing people God has put in my life for these four months and I have got to get to know them.

After making this decision a week or so ago, things have been getting better and better. I am learning a lot about my international brothers and sisters in Christ and a whole heck-a-lot about myself. It's good and I am having -so- much fun!

More on various adventures at a later date. It's bed time now.

A little sampling of different pieces I have written for different people and publications concerning experiences and excitement here in Lietuva. enjoy:

For the Mars' Hill:

And it continues like this… On my one side is a man from Europe, presumably Danish though I don’t know for sure. What I do know is I can’t understand a word he says. On my other side is a vast sea of ice the beauty of which is numbing my fear of the language barrier between my nine-hour European travel companion and myself. Before me--I am flying into a new day, into a new way of life. Welcome to Lithuania.

My fast paced North American ways faded quickly as I traversed the Atlantic Ocean. I arrived at the Vilnius airport 5 hours late on a plane no one from the LCC study abroad staff knew I was on. A woman from the flight noticed me looking a bit perplexed and American and asked me three questions:

"Do you speak English?" .... Yes.
"Are you from America?”.... Yes.
"Are you by any chance going to LCC?" YES!

I was saved from a cold night counting floor tiles in the Vilnius airport by the academic vice president of LCC. Small world? Welcome to Lithuania.

I wouldn’t call the Lithuanian way of life slow. I would be quicker to call it appreciative. A Russian orthodox nativity scene set up in the center of town puts an old woman’s life on reflective pause. An opportunity for tea with a friend at a nearby baras puts a three hour hold on homework. Long conversations are expected. Walking is prime even with temperatures well below freezing.

The appreciative way of life suits me just fine. It gives me a good excuse to sit down and take in the beauty of the crooked towers of an old soviet apartment block. It gives me time to soak in the history seeping from cracks in brick walls. There is the balcony from which Hitler himself gave a speech to the Lithuanian people. There is the vacant square where Lenin used to stand in cold stone. There is the building that used to be part of a castle. The cobblestone streets take you back in time only to be brought back by the sudden shower of slush from a passing pocket rocket (mini bus). Welcome to Lithuania.

As a LCC study abroad student, I have been told to expect the best and most challenging semester of my university career. Already I am struggling with cultural differences. How do I best connect with the people here when their first language isn’t English and mine isn’t Russian? Why do our understandings of the Church and its importance differ?

I look forward to the struggle. I look forward to appreciating the beauty around me. I look forward to the intimate family that is LCC. I look forward to this new way of living.

Welcome to Lithuania


For the LCC study abroad newsletter, Remembering the Sauna:

A flesh cooking 120°C sauna followed by a blood freezing dip in the Baltic Sea: it’s a local Lithuanian tradition, and I was fully prepared to let the locals have all the fun. But I came to experience Lithuanian life first hand so soon enough I found myself trapped in a little 3x5m wooden box with 10 seasoned locals and 15 over cooked North Americans.

So there I sat in bathing suit and board shorts making friends with the sweaty Speedo-sporting Lithuanian man next to me. The sauna reeks of burnt salt and baked human flesh. Fifteen minutes in the oven followed by a mad dash across the sand to the frozen Baltic Sea. The run is easy. Crossing four meters of ice and diving into the Sea takes a little encouragement. The hardest part is running back to the sauna: your feet turn to ice and shatter with each step. But then it’s back into the welcomed 120°C oven for a few more minutes and a few more memories.

First things first:

Who sent me TOAST in a ziplock bag via the US Postal Service to an address I don't even live at for the next four months?!!!!

whoever you are... you are my hero for the rest of the month of January! I only wish I was home to eat the toast and thank you in person.

Second things second:

I wrote an e-mail to James and realized while writing it that it was a good synopsis of my day so instead of writing it all out again, I cut and pasted and edited the e-mail and here it is in all of it's raw excitement. enjoy!


So... what to write about? the amazing life of eastern Europe or the obscurity of realizing I really did leave part of me on the shore of a completely different ocean. And we'll go for the former with some --vital-- updates for sure.

I woke up this morning 15 minutes before I needed to head out the door: I wasn't worried. I actually planned for this. Three minutes past 1000 my good friend Charlotte Reese knocks softly on the door to keep from waking my slumbering Latvian roommate. We bundle up and prepare for our first Saturday morning at the market. After eating a bandele (pastry) with cheese curd filling (quite tasty, actually) we hit up the market and scoped out the wool knit gloves.

No worries in finding those... every other babushka had them. I picked up a lovely grey pair with blue decor, and they warm my hands nicely (not quite as nice as my moesmittens though). We then proceeded to the produce portion and each found quite the deal on some appetizing apples (trys obuolai, 88 centas [about 33 Canadian cents for three apples]).

After some more wandering we started to leave when my eye was caught my a knit sensation I'd never seen before! A hand-knit wool sweater and the babushka who knit it were calling my name. Before I knew it she was dressing me in the sweater and checking arm length and fit. She zipped it up (it has the fabulous double zipper action) stepped back, and proclaimed in her heavy Lithuanian accent, "Beautiful!"... oh the temptation! I asked her how much... she said 60 litai.. the EXACT bill amount I had in my pocket. I fell to the impulse buy! But what a divine impulse! I now have a sweet sweater that reminds me a bit (in its off whiteness and high collar) of my sweet sweetheart back at home.

And then we took the long way home leaving opportunity for photos of archaic buildings crumbling in time. it was beautiful...

Then it was noon and I found myself with a bit of spare time. I did a little philosophising on religion, concerning God and His will, self-determination, and purpose. After that I started reading a book I found in the library by our What's-so-amazing-about-grace friend, Philip Yancey called "Church: Why Bother?" I guess I was attracted to this little book because of the different approach to church students have here but have found it to be beneficial thus far to my own understanding of why I bother with church.
Now here's the vital --or should I say vytal-- update. Vytalius and I left the dorm at 1400 and promptly returned at 1900. (Strict timeframe. Yes Dad & Mom, I am behaving myself.) And in-between then we had a great time checking out his homeland on the spit. He is from one of the little towns of this big town called Nerija. It's on the side of the spit facing Lietuva (not the Baltic) so we walked along the frozen shore in ankle deep snow checking out random little boulders on metal poles that reminded me of sheep (turned out they were an installment piece and indeed were sheep, 3 points for me and my art criticism abilities!)

It was -so- white. Everywhere was white. The ground was white, the sky was white(ish grey), the art along the boardwalk was covered in white, we were white (as it was snowing). We walked around his little tourist town that is supposedly hopping in the summer months (I would believe it, it was beautiful in the winter, must be AMAZINGLY beautiful in the summer) There was hardly anyone out so we got to make most of the first tracks in the snow. Then we went on a little art walk on this hill called "Witch Hill" which has lots of wood-carved statues telling different Lithuanian folktales. The snow was beautiful... I felt like I was walking in a winter wonderland.

After Witch Hill we went to his house where I got to see his parents (couldn't quite talk to them) And his mom was -so- nice. She had dinner ready for us on the stove (even though he had told her before on the phone that we wouldn't be staying for dinner). So I got a home cooked Lithuanian meal that was absolutely delicious and so warming to my frozen frame.

And then we caught the bus and came back across the little ferry and had some hot milk at a little coffee shop. Then it was back to the dorm. All the while we talked about various things like how every sign in Nerija says Zuvis (fish..), how to pronounce different words in Lithuanian, favourite movies/books/music (we have a cold play fan!), how Lithuania does indeed have electricity, cars, and cheeseburgers (as opposed to lanterns, horse drawn carriages, and no cheeseburgers), and future plans after university. And Vytalius laughed at me pretty hard when I stomped into a slush puddle I thought was solid ground making a huge splash and small squeal.

He's going to be a good friend to have here. Though, it's kind of sad because each conversation we have he seems to bring up the fact that I am only here for four months.. almost as though he is struggling with whether or not a friendship would be worth it. I wonder if that is how it is for many of the people here? They value their relationships so much and the SAs come in each semester, take hold of the students' hearts and then rip out a chunk at the end of the four months. Natalijah told us some of the students might carry baggage from this... It's a sad fact but I hope this doesn't put a damper on any of my relationships here.

A highly energetic listing of good things: It is so much fun getting to know the people here! I was a bit concerned at first (which I attribute to nervousness... maybe social anxiety) I went to the yearbook meeting and the design dude wants me to help out.. and then I got an e-mail from the newspaper editor and she is THRILLED that I want to help out with design for them. And it's so fun hanging out with Esther, Charlotte, and the other study abroad kids. And my friend Jesse is so in love with Jesus and so encouraging. And Beth and I workout together and sing at the top of our lungs in the locker room. And I have so much time to be with people and read and write and take pictures (when my hands aren't frozen). And it is just such a beautiful life here.

***

In closing.. I would like to leave you all with this neat piece of information I discovered today concerning the cold:

When I am really cold, I can't unlock my door because I seriously can't turn the key (I experienced this this morning after the market). When Vytalius is cold, he can't speak in English anymore...

They don't take pictures here in Lietuva. They make pictures. There is something beautiful in that change of phrase. It suggests that the photographer isn't merely capturing something beautiful; they are making it beautiful in the choice of angle, crop, exposure, and focus.

Anyone can take a picture, but those who can make them have a gift.

I spent the greater portion of the evening writing a little article for the Mars Hill and my good friend Zack "I'm-so-not-emo" Rock. I will post it on here in time... or if it doesn't go to print. ha! The lesser portion (in time, not quality) was spent chatting with my Lithuanian friend Vitalius.

Something I love about living here: I had the time to spend 30 whole minutes staring at and writing about the buildings across the the street from school in a letter to James. Oh, my friends.. these weren't just ordinary buildings, they are mishapen masterpieces of the soviet era... I'll take a picture tomorrow.

Speaking of pictures... I have uploaded a few to my fotolog. And soon, because of much demand (thanks for reminding me again, mom), I will take lots more and upload them for all to see!

Until then... my roommate is asleep so I should stop typing. Lithuanian 101 in the morning!

labanakt!

You know what I did today!?

Ha! I went swimming in the Baltic Sea!!!

You would think after complaining about the cold all the time I wouldn't submerse myself in such torture but after the 120 degree celsius sauna... the ice bound waters of the Baltic are a blessing. So there I sat in bathing suit and board shorts making friends with the sweaty Lithuanian man in the speedo next to me. The sauna reeks of burnt salt and well baked human flesh. I would say I was well done; I was sweating on the inside. The run from the sauna across sand and ice was no challenge... submersing myself head to toe in the Baltic took some courage... and running back to the sauna after the dip was painful! Your feet turn to glass and shatter with each step! Then it's a few moments rest in the locker area and back into the sauna. Such good times!

Janis (pronounced Yawniss), one of the LCC students who hangs out with us study abroad kids to help us out and be our friend, told us that this was as close to Lithuanian culture as we could get! I believe him.

One more day till classes start!

Labas!

After a little craziness in Kobenhavn, Danmark, I made it to Vilnius with only minor injuries and all of my luggage. Since I have no regular sleep schedule, jet lag hardly affected me. That was quite the treat, I think.

After one day in Lithuania's capital city of Vilnius we (the study abroad studs) left for Klaipeda, our new home. We made a quick pitstop at Lithuania's original capitol city, Trakai. Here we got to check out this rad, old school castle that dates all the way back to the 13th and 14th centuries! I even saw the flooring from the 16th century. (mmm, nice dirt!). The castle of Trakai is on a little island surrounded by five beautiful lakes that just happened to be completely frozen today. After I got over the giddiness of seeing my first ever fully frozen body of water Adrianne took me for a walk on it. She jumped around a bit trying to freak me out... it worked.. and now I can say I have walked on a frozen lake! (2 points!)

oh! and I completed one of my pseudo-life-goals of meeting someone from Rhoade Island! My friend Dan (a fellow study abroad stud) is from the smallest united state which I did a report on with my lovely friend Bish in the fifth grade. He was quite impressed that we chose his home state, even though I didn't remember anything I learned about it except for the fact that you can cover it with several thousand metres of carpet.

And now we are finally in Klaipeda: my home for the next four months. It's freakin' cold and I wish I knew how to turn the heater up... hmm, in time.

The food (and fanta [just for you, fist-sa!]) have been great. I won't have to starve myself on bread. Yay! Though I may anyway just to save money for thrift stores and traveling. mmm hmmm!

Labanakt!

The countdown continues... six days until I step onto a plane bound for a four month, 21 day adventure.

In elementary school I watched friends leave for family vacations and come back two weeks later new people. Leaving gave them license to change. So when my extended vacation turn came around I said farewell to my closest friends and shuffled onto the big plane (a little frightened for my first flight but I survived because my mom held my hand) bound for Iowa. Two weeks later I was packing up my bag and the thought hit me: I hadn't changed! I sat on the plush carpet of my grandparents hallway contemplating how I could change myself before I got back home.

Looking back, I get a good laugh at my youthful naiveness. It's possible for a person to change in that short of time but not necessary.

However! This time.. I won't be gone for two weeks. We're talking four months. And this time, we aren't talking Iowaian influence. We're talking cross-cultural experience!

Change is inevitable.. and I am going to embrace it!

Merry Christmas eve!!

I find I much more enjoy the 24th than the 25th because that is the day my immediate family and I spend all evening together going to two Christmas eve services (at Snoho and the old doughnut church, Bear Creek Community) and relaxing together in the living room, opening gifts, eating, talking. Then Christmas day my Dad, sisters, and I would run off to Grandma's house unfortunately leaving my mom behind, tethered to her pager and patients in the Seattle area. But now, our family Christmas celebrations have expanded to two days! Christmas Eve is much the same but now Christmas day has become a December Thanksgiving of sorts since Sarah and I are gone for the November Thanksgiving. Mom prepares a big meal and we eat and lounge about the house then roll out the door to go see The latest Lord of the Rings release! I guess... maybe this year will be the end of that last tradition.

No worries, we're still heading out to Port Orchard this weekend to spend some quality time with 4 of my dad's six brothers (My Uncle Russ and cousins came up from California!! My Uncle Randy stayed in CA, and my Uncle Ray is in Iraq), aunts, cousins, and of course my Grandparents! I am so excited for this because I absolutely adore my cousins from california! It will be great spending time with them.

oh yeah... the whole reason I was blogging... the Raw has been updated.

peace out, and Happy Christmas!

Life keeps on and I will too as long as there is something to learn or relearn. I am convinced of two things:

1) I never want to start another post with "I" and,
2) Life is only worth living because we are constantly striving

Lack of completion... I have never reached a goal or completed anything truly worthwhile in this life. and for this I am so thankful! Minor accomplishments are little encouragements along the way that keep me pressing on towards achieving the major accomplishment that is Christ. Living in Him; walking with Him; trusting Him alone.

.:.::...

Something I relearned tonight:

first and foremost, my love is Your's

It's from a poem I swear I wrote in one of my little books but can't see to find right now. Maybe it's been the subtle song singing in my heart over the past month; the prayer on my breath whenever the bell tolls. Wherever it is, it's something James reminded me of this evening and Catherine made the truth dance later on.

While I find much Love in one relationship, God reminded me today that He is in all of the wonderful walking blessings around me. There is so much Love to be dished and lavished and it isn't contained in one person. Love is in the smirk of my little sister, the intrigue of my father, the conversation with my older sister, the provision of my mother, the laughter, embraces, and written words of my friends, the corporate and individual prayers of my brothers and sisters in Christ. So much Love!

.:.::...

So much Love to share this Christmas... give it and receive it.

only 12 more days...

The night is lingering; yet dawn is approaching only a few hours below the east horizon.

The morning light finds me state-side, stepping into possibly the busiest 17 days of my life. But they will be wonderful days! I am moving ahead, seeing life through a new favo[u]rite lens. And so, if time allows, several thoughts may be fleshed out in the next 14 days and also a back log of raw material will be uploaded.

there's a super small sneak peak for you...

To my state-side friends:

I promise I will be home in time for mud football!

Ouch.

goodbyes are not my forte.

my heart kind of hurts.

Psalm 121.

Now, as a brief break from studying (which I should probably use for sleeping... mmm, that's what I will do!)
I will answer the 2.5 questions posed to me a week or so ago...

in reverse:

austin said: "i think i want to go to europe.."

leah says: "Don't think! Just go!" Well... think about it just to get a rough plan. But hey, wherever the Spirit leads you! Europe is a prime destination. Will this be missions? Capenwray? Backpacking?

travis said: "When and where are you going to be Lithuania? How long?"

leah says: "I will be on the coast in Klaipeda from January sixth until the end of April." We definitely need to meet up at some point, my friend! The study abroad kids usually travel on the weekends so maybe one weekend we can meet half way somewhere. It would be so great to see you! (especially in Europe)

carly said: "Do you look forward to meeting those pretty European/Lithuanian boys in January? I'm sure you've thought of it at least once and possibly mentioned it to one of your closest girly-friends."

leah says: "I look forward to meeting the boys and girls." The raddest thing about studying abroad is the fact that I get to experience first hand an entirely different world. Now, I am guessing by the tonage of the question you mean am I looking forward to meeting any boys. And what I have to say to that is I am quite taken with one here and I don't think he would like it if I met. a Lithuanian boy.. So that's that.

So! There are the answers to your questions! Feel free to ask more and I will answer them in time.

There is a force that wages war on your heart when you openly confess your greatest weakness to a large audience. Like breathing through a tightly bound filter, the words fight to break through the small portholes of my self-concept. However, I know the agony is worth the depletion if my struggle meets another in a battle all their own so we can conquer this together.

to continue the thankfulness:

rainy day runs to the caf
lunch time on viewday fridays (ahahaha!)
old friends who never forget the real you and remind you constantly
Carly and Erin for being like sisters to me all these years
emo Christmas songs!
my grandparents (WA & IA) for the love they've always shown

Happy Thanksgiving!

You know, it's a real good thing that we are allowed (and encouraged) to be thankful every day of the year because I have SO much to be thankful for. So... this will be a growing list throughout the day/week as things come to mind and as time allows.

What I am OH SO thankful for:

Our unknowable, yet known, God.
fantastic parents
fab[u]lous friends
the opportunity for a Christian education (which wouldn't have been possible state-side)
exact-o knives
sisters who love me even after our childhood (you are both stellar examples of patience, haha)
a plane ticket to Lithuania
my favorite traveling companion/roommate Adrianne
God's timing and divine plan
The Mars' Hill: for the experience and, more importantly, the friendships
My pseudo sister, "Louise" (aka Melissa P Baker)
Christo, for teaching me that it's appropriate to wish Canadians a Happy Thanksgiving as well
flowers on mondays
the sunset
like, love, and the other wonderful feelings of life
Amanda Zecher! because she is here right now!

...more later.

Hi friends!

Life is going, and going well. Once again, it is production weekend so I thought I would write a quick hello for those you who don't see me on msn and could therefore deduce from lack of postage that I have possibly died or fled the country because the authorities have finally discovered my evil plan to take over the world. Anyway. I am alive. They haven't captured me. And God is good!

I pray things are similar for you and if they are/aren't leave me a message and tell me what's up. What I can thank God for in your life or pray for. Also, leave me the one question that has been burning in your mind about me and life since I haven't been that good at communicating most of it to you.

Chapel time! I can't sing right now, but it's going to be good!

love and cranberries!

Jesus be the center
Be my source be my light Jesus
Jesus be the center
Be my song Jesus

Be the fire in my heart
Be the wind in my sails
Be the reason that I live

Jesus Jesus
Jesus be my vision
Be my help
Be my guide Jesus

--My prayer, written by Michael Frye

I love it when my sister leaves me random drawings in random places.

I will go visit her now.

Oh wow. Sometime each one of you should watch the multiangle version of "In my place" from the new Coldplay DVD. The man with the tool belt and the masking tape: so hot right now.

actually! This weekend was superb with lingering moments of grandeur! A few highlights:

*the first slice of Tillamook cheese with Melissa and Sarah
*lion king sing alongs with Sarah Michal Albertson
*running around Woodinville with my dad on saturday aft.
*Melissa Baker and her mom
*u-turns and Fremont
*u-turns, Chinatown, and bubble tea
*u-turns and West Seattle
*late night talks with Catherine Jensen
*spending whole days with two of my favo[u]rite friends
*Starbucks with Austin Foxley
*kickin' it wit my sistah and Coldplay
*dinner with my family
*Carly Bishop, Josh Newton, Kyle Sankey, Sarah Albertson, quality advice, and good conversation.

and there we have it. I am too tired to add anything to anything and from here nonsense will just cascade from my fingers. Almost as if I am typing to an answering machine... so goodnight and THANK YOU to all who contributed to this wonderful reading break!

Hi!

I am in Woodinville for the first time in over two months. It's only for four days of which half of one is already gone. So, 3.5 more days: beautiful people to see, wonderful friends to enjoy, and a 2000 word comm theory paper to write. Mmm! That spells fun with a capital-F!

Bye!

Today was a crazily wonderful day!

In realistic terms I do not have time to write but the prep for my midterm will wait for just a few more minutes.

After nine consecutive hours of sleep I dashed like a popsicle to the gym at 7am. If I didn't enjoy sleep so much I think I would be an avid proponent of morning workouts. There's something relaxing about waking up to 160 pounds of pure metal attempting to conform to gravity. But you won't let them. And your body awakens to the feeling of hundreds of muscle fibers ripping apart only to rebuilt throughout the day. I could go deeper into imagery and such but... I really would rather study for my midterm so on to the next chapter of the day.

HKIN lab was on body composition where the little electro scale told me I was 50% fat and the hip waist test told me I was high risk for something..... Hmmm. The scale was askew and the hip waist test was accurate, though I don't know what I am at a high risk for... and, no.. really. I am not 50% fat. Thanks.

1100 I strolled to the Mars' Hill office to find out if our romantic international issue had arrived and alas! I arrive and I find no papers.. just James. He tells me the heart wrenching story or our paper's woes at the printer. Battles with transparency... size... ultimately our two heros (James & Christo) had to drive all the way out to Delta to save the paper. and they were victorious! It's the most unique issue yet! I can't wait to show you all! Specially designed for the right hand impaired out there.

So the day continued on. I started studying for my human kinetics midterm (friday morning at 800am, prayer much appreciated *thanks!*) I got through hypokinetic conditions then started into cardiovascular disease (CVD) and was so freakin' inspired to write! It was like my brain just turned on and all these ideas I have been trying to think of and consider just fell from my head and started to make amazing sense. Everything from current relational woes to what I want to do with my career to what my final article will be about for Journalism. It was so exciting! So I took 30 minutes before my journalism class just writing, resting in the sunlight coming through my window, and enjoying the endless dance of thought God initiated in my mind through CVD's. I'll post whatever came out on raw material.

Journalism was amazing as well. I have this class with my friend Kevan who is always a joy to be with. In our editing groups we discussed different ethical cases. There's something about ethics that ignites a passion within me. I had the best time discussing and debating with my group, the landline tapestry heartstring explosion.

After journalism I went for an early dinner with my good friend and dorm sister, Sarah Rostami. What an amazing woman she is! Her non-christian parents put her in a private Christian school and she bucked tradition and became Christian there. That's so amazing to me because it seems the typical story is people are driven further from Christianity through experiences at private schools. But God found her and stole her heart. Now she leads an amazing life and passion and devotion for Christ.

Then there was geography lab. We got to color maps of BC. Oh, it was hideous fun!

Then on my way home at 900 I picked up the paper. It's just soo relieving to see it out on the racks waiting for the students. And when they talk about it over the next few days... esp. if it initiates deep conversations. Then it's all worth it.

and THEN! I ran into a friend at my exit to the dorm and found out he's going to come to my place for a day or so of reading break! So adding him to the mix of fun that will be this weekend! I am so psyched!

Life is amazingly good even with midterms and papers dangling before me. God is so good and filling my heart with a small understanding of the rest and peace He gives when I rest in His arms and cast my worries and cares on His capable shoulders.

OH!! And the BEST news of the day! A HUGE praise!!!! My friend who has been dealing with depression for quite some time now e-mailed me this morning:

" I am seriously doing SO awesome! I'm going to stop going to counseling and here are the reasons: I have felt 100 percent like myself for about a month now, my counselor said she has no concerns about me right now, and my doc gave me the okay. I feels so amazing to be back to normal and I have just been so filled with joy from God! I love life right now like I haven't in like 2 years!"

AHHH! Isn't that AWESOME!?!!!!?! I have been on this higher plane of praise ALL day! And seriously, the only reason she is doing this awesome is because of God! The minute she placed Him as her only priority He took her by the hand to this awesome new shore where she knows intimately the joy and love of our Living God!

so rad!

and now after all this excitement and goodness I get to have more with my hkin textbook!! I know I'm such a geek for loving studying so much, but hey... that's who I am. And I much prefer that God gave me a love for studying than a love for slacking.

God Bless and I will see some of you this weekend!!