[insert your life here]
where I've come from. where I've been. where I'm going.Tuesday, March 04, 2003
A question posed to me. One I have been mulling over for several months though especially the last three days. Have I changed? I hope I have.
Where once I always felt like smiling, solemnity has become my expression of choice. Perhaps "of choice" isn't the correct phrase to use here -- it's just what I have been. It's not like I have forgotten the amazing joy God has blessed us all with: I am simply appreciating it in a new way. Yes, this new way has a wealth of struggles -- to which I was happily oblivious in the past -- and sometimes I feel like a rain cloud is chasing me around campus but my battle cry remains, "The Joy of the Lord is my strength!" And there is sunshine in that.
Solitude. There is beauty in simply spending time alone with God. Last night it was overlooking the forest, tonight I ran to the gazebo by the pond. A gentle rain falling on your face is relaxing and peaceful. Like God's own tears for our transgressions; like God's own tears for our joy. Whereas in my past I needed other people to be there, I find God is taking me from being a simple follower of His to being a follower of Him. This love of solitude is a good thing for me right now. It allows me to get away from the books and the constant noise of dorm living and be with my Father. I have been begging for Him to answer me concerning some questions piercing my heart and after tonight I feel that the beginning of resolution is near. Seek solitude! Be still before God. It's moved mountains in my life already; it's only been two days.
What else? God is revealing a little more every day...
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